I live in Morgantown WV, at least, that is until I finally push the reset button on my life. Many of you are probably unfamiliar of what this town is like. Because of that, I've decided to conduct some studies and observations around town and report back to you what the natives seem to prefer. Here is a list of my findings:5.) Standing on corners.
Not sure why this is considered a past time but this town is full of malingerers who tend to gravitate towards intersections with the intent of congregating. Discussion seems to be kept to a minimum however.
4.) Getting fat.
Never in my life have I seen more people bound to a wheelchair due to their weight. And I live in America.
3.) Spitting.
A filthy habit that nearly everyone here seems to enjoy. It's impossible to walk downtown and not step in some repugnant, bacteria infused slime produced from the mouth of some syphilitic cro mag.
2.) Yelling "hey faggot" at me.
This used to be a daily occurrence. And that is not a joke. As my friends in town and they'll tell you this is true.
1.) Making psychedelic, proto-Christian rock albums.
Well, I can't say this happens that often in town, but Mind Garage did hail from here and that's more interesting than writing about the ingrates I typically have to deal with.
Here
You have confirmed my impressions of West Virginia - one trip to a supermarket in Oak Hill has scarred me for life. No wonder Hank Williams died there.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's not everyone here. I've plenty of friends from the state. I think people are pretty much shit wherever you go. Maybe it's a little more overt here. And I also think the people who yell at me are mostly students from out of state.
ReplyDeleteI like the bombastic intro.
ReplyDeleteActually, thanks to my religious up-bringing, I love these Jesus People kindsa posts. (I'm just now going through your blog--which is amazing--so maybe you're already hip to this, but Mutant-Sounds posted a brilliant album by Father Pat Berkery called Prayers For A Noonday Church. It's pretty stellar.)