Ufomammut-Snailking

Has anyone else noticed this frightening trend, or am I alone in finding this horrific? When did this idea of bands (I'm not talking about radio bands, I mean small indie bands) come to believe that selling their songs as ringtones was a acceptable idea. I assume the average age of members in said bands is probably around 17, so maybe an old curmudgeon like myself can provide some sage advice. So listen up kiddies. If you are selling your songs as ringtones, you are not a musician. You are a salesman. Pack in your shit now and get a job at Payless or something. If no one was buying it in the first place, why the fuck would they want your swill exuding from their phone every time some dimwit calls them? Secondly, if you feel like your music is best heard on a phone speaker, then you must already realize your music is shit. I know, you kids didn't grow up with zines and real record stores, so the idea of a cohesive album might seem foreign (7" acceptable format too, natch). So here's an example of how albums work. See, these songs aren't constructed with myspace in mind. These songs function as a unified work, though they may be enjoyed individually as well. Now, mind you, don't take this advice in the wrong direction. If you want to get all arty and shit out some half baked concept, then you're going down the wrong road. You're not that smart. Nearly every time someone wants to get all grandiose it typically (almost always) sucks. If your music is that boring so as to warrant some silly theatrics or harebrained gimmick, then you should construct a funeral pyre out of your instruments then jump atop the flames. The only concept you should have in mind is how to rock. That's it. Oh, and if you have some marketing scheme or business plan, you're not a band but a corporation. You still there children? Sorry, I don't mean hurt your feelings but we old folk are getting a little tired of the same sounding shit that you keep making (hmm...this year it seems to be reverb heavy static pop). What happened to innovation? Okay, that's the end of the rant/lesson. Not much you need to know about this album. It's heavy and spacey and drugged out. It's good.

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