Neutral Spirits

Loyal readers will note that some time has passed since my last batch of postings. But I really have an excuse this time that doesn’t involve my laziness. Just read below and I think you’ll get a sense of the shit I’ve been doing and why blogs have to go on the back burner. This will all seem like bullshit, but I guarantee this all happened (honest injun). All the following documents have yet to be declassified, so keep it under your hat.

The KC Report.

Sir,

It’s over two weeks since I have been able to report. I have infiltrated the designated group. They clearly are the future leaders of industry, politicians, those in the know. They are young and good looking. They jog. I smoke. I wear white pants and paisley ties. They wear khakis and stripped ties. They compliment me on my tattoos and clothing, yet they seem unfamiliar with the style (note: tell Deborah in the costume department to investigate this further). When they jog by, they affably grin at me. I nod. And smoke. The disguise unit must really be performing well since they believe me to be near their approximate age. Little do they know I was born in the same decade as their parents. I accidently let my age slip. Rookie mistake. Yet they didn’t believe me so I think my cover is secure. Walking around town today to get a sense of the environment. I was stopped by some derelict bridge dwellers sipping his malt liquor. I assumed he wanted money. Here’s the dialog: He: “Hey.” Me: “What is it?” Him: “I was just wondering if you’re okay. You look sad.” Me: “That’s how I always look.” I’m starting to get paranoid. I think they may be on to me. I see a leaf on the sidewalk and think it’s a dead bird. Or that it’s concealing a dead bird. I twist my ankles avoiding them. And an old lady laughs at me. Sir, I have sent my last seven reports to the given address and I haven’t received any responses. I am beginning to believe that the relocation initiative may have been enacted and I have yet to be apprised of the situation. I am cut off. I haven’t heard from Central in over a month. I am beginning to feel that I am on my own. If someone receives this document, please establish the extraction protocol. I am alone.

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