Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Neutral Spirits

Loyal readers will note that some time has passed since my last batch of postings. But I really have an excuse this time that doesn’t involve my laziness. Just read below and I think you’ll get a sense of the shit I’ve been doing and why blogs have to go on the back burner. This will all seem like bullshit, but I guarantee this all happened (honest injun). All the following documents have yet to be declassified, so keep it under your hat.

The KC Report.


It’s over two weeks since I have been able to report. I have infiltrated the designated group. They clearly are the future leaders of industry, politicians, those in the know. They are young and good looking. They jog. I smoke. I wear white pants and paisley ties. They wear khakis and stripped ties. They compliment me on my tattoos and clothing, yet they seem unfamiliar with the style (note: tell Deborah in the costume department to investigate this further). When they jog by, they affably grin at me. I nod. And smoke. The disguise unit must really be performing well since they believe me to be near their approximate age. Little do they know I was born in the same decade as their parents. I accidently let my age slip. Rookie mistake. Yet they didn’t believe me so I think my cover is secure. Walking around town today to get a sense of the environment. I was stopped by some derelict bridge dwellers sipping his malt liquor. I assumed he wanted money. Here’s the dialog: He: “Hey.” Me: “What is it?” Him: “I was just wondering if you’re okay. You look sad.” Me: “That’s how I always look.” I’m starting to get paranoid. I think they may be on to me. I see a leaf on the sidewalk and think it’s a dead bird. Or that it’s concealing a dead bird. I twist my ankles avoiding them. And an old lady laughs at me. Sir, I have sent my last seven reports to the given address and I haven’t received any responses. I am beginning to believe that the relocation initiative may have been enacted and I have yet to be apprised of the situation. I am cut off. I haven’t heard from Central in over a month. I am beginning to feel that I am on my own. If someone receives this document, please establish the extraction protocol. I am alone.



  1. Hey Jer,

    We have a new address.
    It's our own domain, so this is the last time we'll ask you to update your blogroll. You're posted over at our place, of course.

    Willard's Wormholes

    Thanks, as always.