Brainbombs-Genius and Brutality,Taste and Power

Finally, it's getting cold. There must be something wrong with me because winter is the only time I actually feel like a human being. Fall used to be the preferred season, but I've had my heart broken too many times and and just too bitter to appreciate it the way I did in my youth. So I'll take the winter. And it makes sense. I am from Chicago. And to go along with these up coming cold months what could possibly be better than a little Brainbombs? Throbbing, minimal, repetitive face punches. Even those who don't really like heavy music can find charm with. They've been around since the mid-80s and people still don't care. That kinda reminds me of a group of au pairs from Norway & Sweden I used to hang out with. At one point one of the girls ask me what do Americans think of Sweden. I replied that we don't and that hurt her feelings.

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Drunks With Guns

This cover is from the first 7" which is included here, but I've posted the comp cd that came out on Behemoth some years back. It's just that the cd cover sucks super bad (all black with the band name in tiny white lettering). And this cover is just so much better. Look at these dudes. And look at that pile of beer cans. That's exactly what this sounds like. It's slow, lumbering, hated filled punk made by some of the most bitter people in the world. I really think this band was formed with the expressed intend of pissing people off. That seems like a pretty good reason to get a group going. Definitely better than simply wanted to hang out with people who have similar haircuts/facial hair as you. Later incarnations were fronted by a 12 year old girl (I'm not kidding about that) and were about as weird as you'd expect. I still prefer the "classic" line up though. Definitely the best band to ever come out of St. Louis (Screamin' Mee-Mees a close second).

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Halo of Flies-Music for Insect Minds

It seems that lately rock has taken a turn for the wimpy. Sure, I love plenty of fey shit (past posts should make this fairly obvious), and I'm certainly no muscle bound DudeBro, but I still feel that there's a vacant throne previously sat upon by these miscreants. Sure, there's still some bands out there that provide us with some bitter self-loathing rock, but this hate faced masterpiece (collecting all of their 7"s and some comp tracks) distill the misanthropy to its crystalline essence. And "Tired and Cold" has to be one of my all time favorite songs. Get pissed again.

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No Trend-Teen Love E.P.

Hard to believe that when D.C.'s punk scene was up in arms about fucking, these miscreants slithered out of the same slime that produced Flipper, Fang, Church Police, etc. Now, I love the old Dischord stuff, but these guys just seem miles removed from all that jazz. Slow, hate filled head smackers, which I'm sure were designed to frustrate & bewilder the punks. And it still sounds relevant. The hatred was strong with these ones.

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Church Police-Gilligan's Wings 7" & 5 Song EP 7"

Mostly known for their cut on the seminal Not So Quiet on the Western Front compilation, the Church Police left behind a unfortunately slim body of work. Both of these 7"s came out well after their demise, and I've had a hard time finding much info on the on line. But really, do you need a band biography or are you here for the tunes? So I guess the easy comparison is to fellow San Fran sludge merchants, Flipper but that might be a little too easy. These tracks stumble and lurch with the best of them. I'm sure it pissed off a lot of punks at the time. Good. Sebadoh even covered these guys, which I always thought was kinda odd.

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Don Rickles-Hello Dummy

One more before the night's through. Anyone who knows me will certainly testify that I love talking about dummies. And living in Morgantown I'm fortunate since there is such an abundance of such people. People who will almost drive off the road because they're busy with scratch off lottery tickets. People who wear white baseball caps. People who love calling my friends and I faggots every time we walk to school. Oh, and the trash heap of human refuse that hangs out in front of the church near Alex's--I can't forget those winners (your super huge jeans might benefit from the addition of more zippers). I can name fifty or so local varieties, and that might be selling the diversity short. Rickles also knows a thing or two about dummies. While his jokes are more racist, homophobic, and misogynistic, than what I'm talking about, his bitterness still makes me laugh. This isn't for prudes even though it's like 40 something years old. But if you don't get the humor then go suck a lemon you sour fuck. So anyways, metal, the theme of the month. Obviously, Donny isn't going to burn a church down or anything, but his hate is strong. Therefore, I proffer that he be included in metal month simply because his disdain for stupidity far exceeds that of any dour Norwegian. This guy's as old as Abe Lincoln's dildoes, and he's still funny.

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Stick Men With Ray Guns-Some People Deserve to Suffer

I live in a horizontally split duplex. Previous tenants have prided themselves on their discreetness to the point that it was difficult to tell when they were home. Not so with this current clan of sub-mongoloid, big foreheaded chuds. So this year's thank you goes out to them. Firstly, to the mom: thank you for keeping your loose flaps open long enough to pump out six future gas station attendants. I'm so glad that they never let me sleep for more than 4 hours a day. The constant, synchronized cry sessions are always a joy. This weekend the normal three miscreants are away, so the b team (seen only once a year, mind you) is in town. One of these kids (hope someone breaks your face soon) was playing a god damn saxophone. A fucking saxophone, at like 8 in the morning. Don't get me wrong. I know kids are kids and they need to do kid things. It's just that these kids are actually lousy kids. Genuinely stupid cry babies. Kids who think throwing a rock at my window (didn't break (nice arm pussy)) is a form of entertainment (again, while I'm sleeping) make me wish a mating license was required. And more thanks goes to their stupid hick dad. Everyday, you remind me of just how stupid a goatee looks. Why not have your slut take a dump and then sit on your mouth? Really, it'll look about the same.

So here's some Stick Men With Ray Guns. Slow, hate filled punk of the Texas persuasion. It makes sense that these guys were familiars with Butthole Surfers. Bobby Soxx always ruled.

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