Creep Scanner

Bluenose B-E.P.

2012-03-14T22:48:00.004-05:00

No need to be jealous anymore internet friends, I've decided to ditch all of my physical friends. At least the ones in Kansas City. Turns out, none of them can actually understand what it means when I find an Eames chair for $25, or talk about recipes, or clothes, or books, or movies, and certainly not music. I suppose it's my fault for surrounding myself with 20 something girls who treat me like a dad or weirdo and/or gay older brother. I'm good for moving their furniture, cooking them dinner, listen to their complains about the stupid 20 something rapist guys they date but that's about all. So I'm done with the lot. Better it's me and my kid brother and sis on the phone than have a bunch of people use me for bullshit and then get mad that I don"t want to jaunt off to some booty grinding club with them (not that they'd be rubbing their booties on me anyways). And this album is a good example of the type of texts I'm talking about (using texts in a liberal sense here). I can play this for those types and what would they care. And some of you might not either. But this is shit I actually get excited about. Haven't we all had enough of dispassionate people? When will enthusiasm and passion be chic? Hate to sound like an old curmudgeon (well, not really) but what happened to people giving a fuck about the things they love?

Here

Urinals-Negative Capability

2012-03-14T22:41:00.003-05:00

I espied that some internet trawlers reached my site in the hopes of downloading that 100 Flowers comp I posted some time back. And had the dickless fucks (no offense ladies, I'm talking about metaphorical cocks) over at mediafire didn't close my account, they could have enjoyed a truly great band. But if there's still an interest I thought I'd put up this one, seeing as it was what 100 Flowers was before they were 100 Flowers. Did I mention that band name enough in one post? As far as I know this is all their stuff. And being that lately I've been hanging out with a bunch of art school punks half my age or so who only know whatever shit passes as hip these days, I might need to go back a ways and teach some history. An early entry, but an essential one at that. But oddly enough, one that is probably enjoyed more by non-punks than actual (I mean wardrobe wise) punks.

Here

"I'm completely operational and all my circuits are functioning normally": Creep Scanner Mix #2 Robots

2012-03-14T22:00:00.004-05:00

If you're past the age of ten, then you probably realizes that humans suck. If you haven't by now, I suppose you also believe in dirty hippies flying through the air and healing lepers too. So this theme mix is for our superiors: robots. I suppose it's a bit obvious and not that off beat of a subject, but tons of good music has praised our metal mates and I just want to share some cuts. Also, I keep thinking about how a decade or so ago I heard about some German sex bots that were in the works. What ever happened to that technology. I promise, once those hit the market you'll never hear from me again. So get to work Adolph, I'm tired and lonely. For the rest, enjoy this lazily compiled mix. And I'm open to theme suggestions. Really, I will try my hardest to compile mixes of whatever topic is thrown at me. So send your suggestions along and I'll see what I can do.

And here's a picture of my new band. Note: I'm the one without the hat.

Here

Tages-Tages!Tages!Tages!

2012-03-14T21:45:00.003-05:00

I think this is a rather dubious comp of a wide swath of this Swede psych-pop combo. I don't have a real cover so I just chose a 45 for your eyentertainment. And putting this thing together I realized that the track order and titles have all gotten fucked up now, but you'd be quite the dummy to let that prevent you from enjoying these sounds. And ass, you can always edit it later. I just heard from a neighbor that she thought a bunch of people lived in my apartment because of the number of empty beer bottles I put out on the curb. Unfortunately, it's just me and a cat, and she doesn't drink. But, with beer in hand at the moment, I have to say that these songs rule.

Here

Swell Maps-Jane From Occupied Europe

2012-03-14T21:30:00.002-05:00

Right off the bat, "Let's Build a Car" is the best song ever (not found here). And don't argue with me about this because I carry a straight edge and a knife and I've been known to fight people for less than this. Seriously, I recently had to tell some fat fuck to close his mouth because he was talking about vagina feet and other nonsense while I was at my bar. So if minor offenses like that are severely dealt with how do you think I would react to someone challenging me on this issue. And we all know of bands that have two "geniuses" in their ranks (fuck no, not the Beatles, unless you mean Ringo and George). But howsabout three. Man, this band is so good I want to waste all of my money on some resurrection device just so they can play again. Say, does anyone know who that black magic(k) stuff works anyways?

Here

The Telescopes-Precious Little

2012-03-14T21:20:00.002-05:00

NO, No, no. There is no good reason to get into this argument about whether they ripped off Spacemen 3 or not. I don't care. We are all constantly ripping off people. I don't say that you wear jeans because some railway worker sported them some decades ago. Most likely you wear them because you say some idiot in a shitty band like Girls wear them (is that where your stupid hair cut and love of cults comes from?), but it doesn't matter. Lets drop this notion of "authenticity" and realize that we're all just a bunch of phonies pretending to be something better than we are (i.e. garbage covered in skin). So, I'm not going to hear complaints about this band. Everything they've done is gold to my ears. And in a hypocritical turn (check out the volta), young'uns stop playing this type of music. If you weren't at least a teenager when this stuff was coming out it's better to have your parents tell you about it. Unless you're going to get all Spirit-like and have a parent (or step-parent for that matter) in your band. Then you're cool.

Here

Sandy Bull-Inventions

2012-03-14T21:02:00.002-05:00

What needs to be sed about this string bender that already hasn't? Not much I suppose. Lovers of Fahey, Basho, Takoma records, American Primitive all have reasons to celebrate Bull's catelogue. Being that I'm a man who indulges greatly in all the aforementioned subjects, far be it for me to say anything cross about this man's work. In fact, as much as I love all of those things, ole Sandy seems to hold a special place in my heart. Is it the arsenal of string instruments he poses with on the cover? Or those clean cut, Beach Boyish looks (that masked a nasty horse habit)? Dunno what it is. I suppose it's probably his ability to take anything notes can be made with and create sounds that seem more like an alien soundtrack or those amazing songs you hear in your dreams and wake up convinced they actually exist.

Here

The Coachmen-Failure to Thrive

2012-02-29T17:36:00.003-06:00

Another in the "before they were famous" series. This one is probably a bit more known than some of the others I've posted simply because it was Thurston Moore's first band. No, it doesn't sound like Sonic Youth, but it doesn't need to. This stands up just fine on its own. He just happens to be in the band, but it doesn't sound like it's his band alone. Up beat, angular, catchy and fun. Sure, I like Sonic Youth more but that doesn't mean I don't like this too. I thought more people would be aware of this by now. It's not a well guarded secret or anything.

Here

John Cage with David Tudor-Present Variations IV

2012-02-29T16:45:00.003-06:00

By now, I surely doubt that there is anyone who requires an explanation as to who John Cage is. And I'm not gonna give it. If any soul actually needs me to explain this man's work then they should probably hop into his steam punk, time traveling submarine and go back to when new music started. While you're jaunting around you might as well familiarize yourself with, oh say, Shakespeare. Perhaps Rembrandt as well. And what the shit is with these steam punks anyways? It reminds of a sphynxian riddle "are steam punks ugly because they are steam punks or are steam punks steam punks because they are ugly?" No joke, I have never seen any fool all done up in this nonsense that didn't deserve even more ridicule that s/he received. I'm holding off on all trends until nuclear Phoenicians starts happening. Then I'll be all over that shit.

Here

Leitmotiv-2 x 7"s

2012-02-29T16:23:00.006-06:00

Man, getting these two images to line up was a massive pain, but well worth it since this double header is a must own. Writing that last sentence i was reminded of a girl I used to be friends with and how one drunken party she earned herself that nickname. But I shouldn't really tease since I remember some good times where shared in a tool shed together. And at least she wasn't known as "stairway to heaven" as another girl I know was dubbed. But enough about blow jobs. Here's one for all the fake post-punk kids moping about nowadays. What do you call yourselves anyways? Post-post-punks or just ill informed plagiarists? Please respond, I'd really hate to offend.

Here

Poison Dwarfs-Wechselbad

2012-02-29T16:10:00.005-06:00

Yes, it is from 1980's German (that's a good thing in my book) but it doesn't really sound like all the bands you could rattle off from that time period in that particular region of the globe. I just think this one would pair nicely with the Blago Bung album below. It's more synthy and experimental but it's also one of those cassettes that people from very disparate interests could find enjoyment. And with things being as shitty as they are I think we could all use a little bit of that in our lives. Too bad it is in such a grotesque form.

Here

Blago Bung-Kärleken & Döden

2012-02-29T16:00:00.003-06:00

I don't think I can actually tell you anything about this album aside from it's Swedish (I think) and it is good. I can tell you more about what I hear but music descriptions always seem so boring to be. Don't you agree? Of course you do because you're a charming, well reasoned individual with impeccable tastes. And it is for those reasons that you would want to download this great relic of the 80's. Then you can write your own descriptions and they'll be much more meaningful. Reference those pangs of nostalgia conjured up by the winsome production and recall the time you bought that expensive gift for that girl you were long friends with but secretly loved and the day you were planning on giving it to her she told you about her new boyfriend and how you vowed never to love again. But there's no need for the long face there guy, it's only music and your memories are fake anyways.

Here

Drums of Death: Field Recordings In Ghana

2012-02-28T19:14:00.002-06:00

I could care less about John Zorn. I know some people obsess over every note the guy squeezes out, but the guy does a lotta squeezin' so it gets a bit old. Oddly, he's listed as the producer of this album of field recordings of traditional Ghanian funeral music. I think that it just proves that he's better at getting people together and letting them do what they do then actually playing music. This album would be most appropriate for nights alone with a bottle of cough syrup and a loin cloth. And don't be afraid to dance. No one is watching anyways.

Here

Bob Bannister-Dives and Lazarus:Death Chants, Breakdowns, and Tape Loops

2012-02-28T18:44:00.003-06:00

Dear lord, did Ptolemaic Terrascope ever get it right by including this disk on its top 100 records list. And it's the one that I mention to other psych heads and have never gotten a straight response. The phonies will claim that they actually know what this is, but they don't. You know those types who've heard everything but for some reason only seem to talk about whatever the current trend is. Don't trust them people. But for most of us, this isn't an album that gets much cred. And that means people are really missing out on something special. At its core, the album consists of traditional folk tunes. That's fine as it is and it's nothing to sneer at. Then there's all sorts of interesting dronal textures that surround the tunes. This album definitely proves the point that experimentation can be done with subtlety and taste rather than the heavy handed "hey look at me getting weird" posturing that kills so many albums.

Here

Arbete och Fritid

2012-02-28T18:12:00.003-06:00

More NWW listers for open eared listeners. These Swedes reach for the weirdo outer cosmos propelled by trad Noric fuel and prog rock juice. My love of Swedish psych has now been long documented (and links quickly erased) so if you look back at some of the old posts you'll find a list of kindred spirits who participated in some strange transcultural synthesis. Normally, I'd say keep your horns away from my rock, but it somehow isn't some horrible bleating here and finally, in one of those rare turns, works. This album is all over the place and is only better for it.

Here

Creeps in Service-Creep Scanner Mix #1

2012-02-26T14:37:00.003-06:00

This has been sitting in cold storage for some time and seeing as how all of my links are now dead, I figure I might as well start fresh with this one. I do not claim to be some sort of mix master so rather than compiling all these choice for you sluts I opted to take a thematic approach. Theme #1: Creeps. Don't worry, there's no Radiohead here (way too obvious). Instead, I poached tracks about creeps, creepers, and people creeping. If I was a smarter man I'd make some nice cover art and doing it up proper but I'm a simpleton so instead you get some Victorian children. And children always seemed like little creeps anyways. Let me know if the mix goes down well. I already have ten or so made but if this one sucks I guess there wouldn't be much point of posting them.

Here

Creep Scanner Under Lockdown

2012-02-25T20:15:00.001-06:00

Well, it seems that mediafire has locked me out. So I contacted them and am waiting to see if they will eventually unlock my files. I'm guessing the will not. If my account remains in limbo then I suppose I'll just start up a new one. Oddly enough, it might still be a mediafire account since it's the service I prefer. Are there any suggestions that might be better?

And too make things seem a little less dire, I've decided to transcribe a bit of dialogue I had with two very drunk girls last night. To set the scene, I was at my local, by myself (natch), enjoying a beer and trying to draw the least amount of attention to myself:

Girl 1: "Hey, do you want to get busy?" (She seriously said this as her opening line)
Me: "Huh?" (with bemused/repulsed look on my face)
Girl 1: "Well, my friend and I think you're cute" (clearly a lie)
Girl 2: "Has anyone ever told you you look like Jude Law?"
Me: "Yes." (True: I've heard this one pretty often (always from drunk girls)).
Girl 1: "Yeah, you have glasses and a leather jacket."
Girl 2" "Wait does Jude Law wear a leather jacket?"
Me: "I assume he has at some point."
Girl 1 & 2: "Oh."

Inane conversation continues until I finish smoking my cigarette and I flee their stupidity. So that ends the story about how a turned down a threesome with some very idiotic girls.

It might be some time before I'm back in the game, so if you're someone who might be curious about what I'll be doing I've provided a list:

1.) Bird watching
2.) Walking
3.) Train watching
4.) Buying antiques
5.) Drinking
6.) Reading
7.) Grading Papers
8.) Sleeping
9.) Practicing yo yo tricks
10.) Playing with my cat

I think that documents the fascinating life I currently lead. But being an adult in a town with no friends leaves little room for exciting adventures. So don't worry if this blog is suspended for a while. You're not missing out on much.

Til then,
J.O.

Culturcide-Tacky Souvenirs of Pre-Revolutionary America

2012-01-28T22:59:00.000-06:00

They’re called a punk rock band but I’m not too sure if everyone else out there considers singing over a Bruce Springsteen record (you can still hear the boss (burn in hell Clarence Clemons with your shitty saxophone)) to be punk rock. All those “classic” 80s artists get ridiculed, and I’m all for it. It’s definitely an artifact of the times. And those times were pretty shitty too (in case you’re too young to remember). This won't make much sense to you if you were born after 1982. But then, you won't make much sense to me if you were born after that date. Fuck you Ronald Reagan.

Creep Scanner

Bluenose B-E.P.

Urinals-Negative Capability

"I'm completely operational and all my circuits are functioning normally": Creep Scanner Mix #2 Robots

Tages-Tages!Tages!Tages!

Swell Maps-Jane From Occupied Europe

The Telescopes-Precious Little

Sandy Bull-Inventions

The Coachmen-Failure to Thrive

John Cage with David Tudor-Present Variations IV

Leitmotiv-2 x 7"s

Poison Dwarfs-Wechselbad

Blago Bung-Kärleken & Döden

Drums of Death: Field Recordings In Ghana

Bob Bannister-Dives and Lazarus:Death Chants, Breakdowns, and Tape Loops

Arbete och Fritid

Creeps in Service-Creep Scanner Mix #1

Creep Scanner Under Lockdown

Culturcide-Tacky Souvenirs of Pre-Revolutionary America

Brother Ah-Sound Awareness

Ville Moskiito-Retkikertomuksia

Angelic Upstarts-Teenage Warning

The Spinanes-Imp Years

Th'Faith Healers-Imaginary Friend

Roland Young-Isophonic Boogie Woogie

Velvet Cacoon-Genevieve

Tony, Caro and John-All on the First Day

The Amps-Pacer

Cardiac Arrest-The Obvious Identity

The Desperate Bicycles-Remorse Code

The Second Coming-The Return E.P.

Sproton Layer-With Magnetic Fields Disrupted

Juan de la Cruz-Shake Your Brain

The Mekons-The Quality of Mercy is Not Strnen

Organisation-Tone Float

Blue Sun

Steeleye Span-Below the Salt